today is the 21st day of the year.

.. and this began a little before New Year. Sometime after Christmas.

I'm sluggish, underwhelmed (you know, I actually have no idea what this means, but it sounds right), and like a complete bum. Nothing interests me.

I dont want to do anything. I dont want to go to work. I dont want to watch TV. I dont want to read. I dont want to clean the house.

I just want to lie down and die.

It's been 21 days and more, and I'm still feeling this stagnant line running though me.

Like. What. Eva.

I dont know if this is life bumming me out, or it. 

The worse part, I dont even remember what I used to call it! The little monster? Heck, I really dont remember.

Maybe I should up the dose. But change to something new. Maybe imiphramime isnt working. Maybe it never had. Maybe all it did was keeping me on a steady line, with no major downs. If it is, then steady's breaking down.

If you asked me what happened in my first doctor's appointments, I can't tell you, cause I dont remember. I wish I have access to her notes on me. But I dont even remember her name.